Anxiety and Nervous System Regulation: How to Soothe Your Body and Mind
Why Anxiety Isn’t Just in Your Head
Chronic anxiety can feel like your body is always bracing for something bad — racing thoughts, tight chest, restlessness, and constant tension. But anxiety isn’t just mental; it’s rooted in your nervous system.
Do a test with me: For one minute- I want you to sit down and do nothing- don’t look at your phone, don’t check your computer, dont answer a question. Just sit there, for one minute. How easy or difficult is that for you? If it’s hard- your nervous system may be trying to tell you something…
When you’ve experienced chronic stress or trauma, your nervous system may become stuck in fight, flight, or freeze mode, even when there’s no immediate danger. This is your body’s survival response — working overtime.Hypervigilance: Living on High Alert
One of the most common — and exhausting — symptoms of anxiety is hypervigilance. This is when your mind and body are constantly scanning for threats, even in safe situations.
Signs of hypervigilance include:
Trouble relaxing
Startling easily
Feeling “on edge” all the time
Overanalyzing conversations or environments
This constant state of alertness creates a deep sense of not feeling safe in your own body, which reinforces the anxiety cycle.
The Mind-Body Connection and Anxiety
The mind-body connection means your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations are deeply linked. When your body is dysregulated, your mind often interprets it as fear, danger, or stress — and vice versa.
To truly heal anxiety, we need more than coping skills. We need to first accept where we are right now, allow what is. That might sound and look like this: Placing a hand on your chest and saying “Im anxious right now, I feel it in my chest.”
5 Ways to Calm Anxiety Through the Body
After noticing our anxiety and connecting with it these simple tools help restore balance and shift your nervous system out of survival mode:
1. Deep Breathing
Slow, rhythmic breathing tells your body it’s safe. Try inhaling for 4, exhaling for 6. The longer exhale activates your calming parasympathetic system.
2. Grounding Techniques
Bring awareness to your senses:
Feel your feet on the ground
Hold a warm mug
Look around and name 5 things you see
These practices anchor you in the present moment and reduce overwhelm.
3. Movement and Somatic Release
Gentle movement like stretching, walking, or even shaking helps your body release stored tension. This is especially helpful if your anxiety feels “stuck” or frozen.
4. Vagus Nerve Stimulation
The vagus nerve helps calm the body. Try humming, splashing cold water on your face, or doing gentle neck rolls to activate this calming system.
5. Therapy for Nervous System Regulation
Working with a trauma-informed or somatic therapist can help you understand your anxiety patterns and safely reconnect with your body.
Healing Begins When You Feel Safe Again
If you don’t feel safe inside your own body, it’s not your fault — it’s your nervous system doing what it was trained to do. The good news? It can relearn safety.
With consistent practice and support, your system can shift out of hypervigilance and into a state of calm, connection, and trust.
Ready to feel grounded and calm again?
Book a therapy session for anxiety and nervous system healing
Contact me for support: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Call or text: 720-443-3935
You Deserve to Feel at Home in Your Body
Anxiety doesn’t have to be your normal. Through nervous system regulation and mind-body healing, it’s possible to find ease again — not just in your thoughts, but in your whole self.
Mom Rage: You’re Not Broken- You’re Human…
It all begins with an idea.
By Katy De Angelis, LCSW
I get it…. I’ve lost my cool with my kids too. Dishes in the sink, toys all over the floor, running late to an appointment, a toddler screaming because he wanted the blue bowl not the green one, and now I’ve stepped on a Lego…. You can imagine what happens next…
If you’ve ever felt like you were about to explode over spilled milk, bedtime battles, or just being touched one more time — you’re not crazy. You may be experiencing Mom Rage.
Why Does Mom Rage Happen?
Let’s start by saying this: Mom Rage doesn’t make you a bad mom — it’s a signal that something needs attention. Your rage is not a flaw. It’s a symptom of overwhelm, burnout, and unmet needs.
Common causes include:
Mental load and emotional labor in parenting
Chronic exhaustion and sleep deprivation
Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum, PMDD, or perimenopause)
Unprocessed trauma or anxiety
Lack of support or time for yourself
Unrealistic expectations of “perfect motherhood”
Many moms also feel shame or guilt about their anger — which can make the emotional cycle even harder to break.
What Is Mom Rage?
"Mom Rage" describes those moments when overwhelm spills over into intense frustration or anger. It can look like snapping at your kids, yelling when you don’t want to, or feeling like you're going to explode over something small — the spilled milk, the constant interruptions, the refusal to put on shoes.
It often catches moms off guard because it doesn’t match the version of motherhood we’re told to expect — the loving, patient, ever-sacrificing image. But the truth is, that ideal is bullshit and impossible! And rage often bubbles up when we’re stretched far beyond our limits, emotionally and physically. I like to think of rage as information we need to pay attention to.
Why Does Mom Rage Happen?
There are many reasons why rage shows up for mothers — and they’re often completely understandable:
Chronic sleep deprivation
Mental load and invisible labor
Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum and perimenopause)
Lack of support or time for yourself
Unprocessed trauma or unresolved emotional pain
Feeling like your needs don't matter
Add in social pressure to be “grateful” or “happy” all the time, and you’ve got a recipe for guilt and isolation on top of everything else.
Signs of Mom Rage
Not sure if what you’re feeling is "just stress" or something more? Here are some signs:
Snapping or yelling over small things
Feeling out of control with your anger
Crying after losing your temper
Feeling ashamed or alone afterward
Avoiding certain situations to prevent explosions
If this sounds familiar, it’s okay. You’re not alone — and you’re not the only mom wondering: “Why am I so angry all the time?”
You’re Not Failing — You’re Overloaded
We live in a culture that praises "supermoms" while offering very little real support. When moms are constantly giving, with no space to rest or be human, it’s no wonder that rage becomes the outlet.
Anger is a message. It says:
“Something is not working for me.”
And it deserves to be heard with compassion — not shame.
How to Cope With Mom Rage (Gentle, Realistic Tips)
You don’t need another to-do list. You need real tools and space to feel human again.
1. Name It Without Shame
Simply saying “I’m feeling rage” can help take the power out of it. Rage thrives in silence. Name it to tame it.
2. Notice Your Triggers
Do your angry moments happen at the same time each day? Around bedtime? After feeling touched out? These patterns point to what’s asking for attention.
3. Take a Micro-Pause
When you feel the surge, try stepping away (even for 30 seconds). Deep breaths, cold water, or simply walking into another room can reset your nervous system.
4. Let Go of the “Perfect Mom” Myth
You don’t need to be endlessly patient to be a good mom. You just need to be real, and willing to care for yourself too.
5. Get Support (It’s Not Weak to Ask)
You deserve to feel supported, not just needed. Therapy can help unpack the deeper reasons behind your rage and build tools that work for your real life.
Therapy Can Help You Feel Calmer, Seen, and Less Alone
If you’re tired of carrying the mental load, the shame, or the fear of another outburst — you don’t have to keep going like this.
As a therapist, I work with overwhelmed moms who feel angry, anxious, or simply burnt out. In our work together, we create a space where you can feel:
Safe to talk honestly
Understood without judgment
Empowered with tools that help
It’s time to take care of you, too.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen — without judgment, with compassion, and with the tools to help you move forward.
Let’s rewrite the story that says moms have to be everything to everyone. You deserve space, support, and the freedom to feel without shame.
Book a free consultation: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Text or Call: 720-443-3935