Can you love your children but not love parenthood?
When I entered into motherhood I’ll be honest. I didnt like it. There was a part of me that wondered what the hell had I just done. If I had known how tired Id be and how much screaming and colic Id be listening to I dont know if I would have had children. I felt a ton of shame around my thoughts that circled around about how much I didnt like this role. Arent women suppose to just love babies and have no problem being selfless?
The Messy Truth About Parenthood (and Why You’re Not Alone)
There’s so much we don’t talk about when it comes to parenthood and mental health — especially the parts that don’t fit neatly into the narrative of joy, gratitude, and unconditional love.
But here’s the truth: parenthood is complex, and so are we.
Sometimes we feel resentment alongside love.
Sometimes we crave quiet more than we crave connection.
Sometimes we look at our kids and think, "You are the best thing that ever happened to me," while also wondering, "What happened to me?"
That doesn’t make you a bad parent.
That makes you human.
You’re Not Broken — You’re in a Big Transition
The shift into parenthood — whether through birth, adoption, or after years of infertility — is one of the most profound identity changes a person can go through. It’s emotional. It’s physical. It’s existential. And it doesn’t happen overnight.
Even when we’ve longed for this role, it can come with grief, disorientation, and deep overwhelm. And all of that is valid.
You might be mourning your freedom, your time, your body, or even the version of yourself that existed before parenthood — while still fiercely loving your child.
Two things can be true at once.
You can love your children and struggle with parenting.
You can be grateful and feel burnt out.
You can be devoted and still need space.
There is no single “right” way to feel about parenthood — just your way.
You’re Not Alone — Therapy Can Help
If you're navigating the messy, tender, and overwhelming parts of parenthood, I want you to know you're not alone — and you don’t have to carry this by yourself.
At Katy De Angelis Counseling, I offer trauma-informed therapy for parents and caregivers, including support with:
Postpartum anxiety and depression
Parental burnout and emotional exhaustion
Identity shifts in motherhood and parenthood
Infertility and the emotional aftermath
The challenges of raising children with big emotions
Relationship changes after becoming a parent
As a licensed therapist (LCSW) with advanced training in Brainspotting and trauma-focused modalities, I hold space for the full truth of your experience — the joy, the resentment, the fatigue, the love, and everything in between.
You don’t need to pretend. You don’t need to fix yourself.
You just need a safe space to be real — and that’s what I offer.
Ready to Feel More Grounded in Parenthood?
If you’ve been silently thinking, “Why is this so hard?”, you’re not broken. You’re in a big transition. And support is available.
Call or Text: 720-443-3935
Email: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Serving Lafayette, Louisville, Boulder, Erie, Longmont, Broomfield, Arvada, Northern Colorado, Denver and offering online therapy throughout Colorado.
