Can you love your children but not love parenthood?

When I entered into motherhood I’ll be honest. I didnt like it. There was a part of me that wondered what the hell had I just done. If I had known how tired Id be and how much screaming and colic Id be listening to I dont know if I would have had children. I felt a ton of shame around my thoughts that circled around about how much I didnt like this role. Arent women suppose to just love babies and have no problem being selfless?

The Messy Truth About Parenthood (and Why You’re Not Alone)

There’s so much we don’t talk about when it comes to parenthood and mental health — especially the parts that don’t fit neatly into the narrative of joy, gratitude, and unconditional love.

But here’s the truth: parenthood is complex, and so are we.

Sometimes we feel resentment alongside love.
Sometimes we crave quiet more than we crave connection.
Sometimes we look at our kids and think, "You are the best thing that ever happened to me," while also wondering, "What happened to me?"

That doesn’t make you a bad parent.
That makes you human.

You’re Not Broken — You’re in a Big Transition

The shift into parenthood — whether through birth, adoption, or after years of infertility — is one of the most profound identity changes a person can go through. It’s emotional. It’s physical. It’s existential. And it doesn’t happen overnight.

Even when we’ve longed for this role, it can come with grief, disorientation, and deep overwhelm. And all of that is valid.

You might be mourning your freedom, your time, your body, or even the version of yourself that existed before parenthood — while still fiercely loving your child.

Two things can be true at once.
You can love your children and struggle with parenting.
You can be grateful and feel burnt out.
You can be devoted and still need space.

There is no single “right” way to feel about parenthood — just your way.

You’re Not Alone — Therapy Can Help

If you're navigating the messy, tender, and overwhelming parts of parenthood, I want you to know you're not alone — and you don’t have to carry this by yourself.

At Katy De Angelis Counseling, I offer trauma-informed therapy for parents and caregivers, including support with:

• Postpartum anxiety and depression

• Parental burnout and emotional exhaustion

• Identity shifts in motherhood and parenthood

• Infertility and the emotional aftermath

• The challenges of raising children with big emotions

• Relationship changes after becoming a parent

As a licensed therapist (LCSW) with advanced training in Brainspotting and trauma-focused modalities, I hold space for the full truth of your experience — the joy, the resentment, the fatigue, the love, and everything in between.

You don’t need to pretend. You don’t need to fix yourself.
You just need a safe space to be real — and that’s what I offer.

Ready to Feel More Grounded in Parenthood?

If you’ve been silently thinking, “Why is this so hard?”, you’re not broken. You’re in a big transition. And support is available.

Call or Text: 720-443-3935
Email: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Serving Lafayette, Louisville, Boulder, Erie, Longmont, Broomfield, Arvada, Northern Colorado, Denver and offering online therapy throughout Colorado.

Too much wellness?

Nervous System Regulation: Are We Doing Too Much?

Lately, it seems like nervous system regulation is everywhere. Instagram reels, TikToks, podcasts, and your friend who just got really into cold plunges are all telling us what we should be doing to calm down, find balance, and “heal our nervous system.”

Meditate daily. Take deep, intentional box breaths. Do yoga (but not too intense), stretch before bed, and don’t forget your cold plunge in the morning and your hot bath at night.
Oh, and make sure you're eating enough protein… but not too much. Cut back on caffeine, but enjoy your matcha! Limit sugar, but don’t restrict yourself. Sleep at least 8 hours, but wake up early and get sunlight within 10 minutes.
Are you exhausted yet?

Yeah. Me too.

The Wellness Overwhelm Is Real

We live in a time where mental health awareness is finally getting the attention it deserves — which is a wonderfulthing. More people are learning about the nervous system, trauma responses, and how our bodies hold onto stress. We're discovering tools that help us feel more grounded, calm, and connected.

But with that awareness has come a tidal wave of information — and advice. Lots of it. And while most of these tools are based in solid science and genuinely helpful, trying to do them all can start to feel like a full-time job. And ironically? That stress can start to dysregulate our nervous systems even more.

You Don’t Need to Do Everything

The point of nervous system regulation isn’t to add more pressure to your already-full plate. It’s not another to-do list to perfect. It's not a competition to see who can be the chillest, most glowy, least-caffeinated version of themselves.

Regulation should feel supportive — not stressful. And what regulates one person may not work for someone else. Focus on what works for you…

Instead of trying to do all the things, ask yourself:

• What actually feels good to my body right now?

• What’s realistic for this season of my life?

• What’s one small thing I can practice consistently?

Maybe it’s taking a few slow breaths before you get out of bed. Maybe it’s stretching for five minutes at the end of your day. Maybe it’s allowing yourself to enjoy your morning coffee without guilt. Maybe it’s crying in the shower — and then texting a friend.

All of that is nervous system regulation.

Gentle Is Powerful

The truth is, your body already knows how to regulate — it just needs the right conditions to do so. And often, those conditions are simple:

• Slowing down

• Feeling safe

• Being in connection with others

• Moving your body in ways that feel good

• Resting when you need to

• Nourishing yourself — emotionally and physically

So yes, cold plunges and yoga and perfect sleep hygiene have their place. But so does laughing with a friend, reading a book that makes you feel less alone, or simply putting your hand on your heart and reminding yourself, “I’m doing the best I can.”

And that? That’s enough.

Call or Text: 720-443-3935
Email: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Serving Lafayette, Louisville, Boulder, Erie, Longmont, Broomfield, Arvada, Northern Colorado, Denver and offering online therapy throughout Colorado.

Mom Rage: You’re Not Broken- You’re Human…

By Katy De Angelis, LCSW

I get it…. I’ve lost my cool with my kids too. Dishes in the sink, toys all over the floor, running late to an appointment, a toddler screaming because he wanted the blue bowl not the green one, and now I’ve stepped on a Lego…. You can imagine what happens next…

If you’ve ever felt like you were about to explode over spilled milk, bedtime battles, or just being touched one more time — you’re not crazy. You may be experiencing Mom Rage.

Why Does Mom Rage Happen?

Let’s start by saying this: Mom Rage doesn’t make you a bad mom — it’s a signal that something needs attention. Your rage is not a flaw. It’s a symptom of overwhelm, burnout, and unmet needs.

Common causes include:

• Mental load and emotional labor in parenting

• Chronic exhaustion and sleep deprivation

• Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum, PMDD, or perimenopause)

• Unprocessed trauma or anxiety

• Lack of support or time for yourself

• Unrealistic expectations of “perfect motherhood”

Many moms also feel shame or guilt about their anger — which can make the emotional cycle even harder to break.

What Is Mom Rage?

"Mom Rage" describes those moments when overwhelm spills over into intense frustration or anger. It can look like snapping at your kids, yelling when you don’t want to, or feeling like you're going to explode over something small — the spilled milk, the constant interruptions, the refusal to put on shoes.

It often catches moms off guard because it doesn’t match the version of motherhood we’re told to expect — the loving, patient, ever-sacrificing image. But the truth is, that ideal is bullshit and impossible! And rage often bubbles up when we’re stretched far beyond our limits, emotionally and physically. I like to think of rage as information we need to pay attention to.

Why Does Mom Rage Happen?

There are many reasons why rage shows up for mothers — and they’re often completely understandable:

• Chronic sleep deprivation

• Mental load and invisible labor

• Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum and perimenopause)

• Lack of support or time for yourself

• Unprocessed trauma or unresolved emotional pain

• Feeling like your needs don't matter

Add in social pressure to be “grateful” or “happy” all the time, and you’ve got a recipe for guilt and isolation on top of everything else.

Signs of Mom Rage

Not sure if what you’re feeling is "just stress" or something more? Here are some signs:

• Snapping or yelling over small things

• Feeling out of control with your anger

• Crying after losing your temper

• Feeling ashamed or alone afterward

• Avoiding certain situations to prevent explosions

If this sounds familiar, it’s okay. You’re not alone — and you’re not the only mom wondering: “Why am I so angry all the time?”

You’re Not Failing — You’re Overloaded

We live in a culture that praises "supermoms" while offering very little real support. When moms are constantly giving, with no space to rest or be human, it’s no wonder that rage becomes the outlet.

Anger is a message. It says:
“Something is not working for me.”

And it deserves to be heard with compassion — not shame.

How to Cope With Mom Rage (Gentle, Realistic Tips)

You don’t need another to-do list. You need real tools and space to feel human again.

1. Name It Without Shame

Simply saying “I’m feeling rage” can help take the power out of it. Rage thrives in silence. Name it to tame it.

2. Notice Your Triggers

Do your angry moments happen at the same time each day? Around bedtime? After feeling touched out? These patterns point to what’s asking for attention.

3. Take a Micro-Pause

When you feel the surge, try stepping away (even for 30 seconds). Deep breaths, cold water, or simply walking into another room can reset your nervous system.

4. Let Go of the “Perfect Mom” Myth

You don’t need to be endlessly patient to be a good mom. You just need to be real, and willing to care for yourself too.

5. Get Support (It’s Not Weak to Ask)

You deserve to feel supported, not just needed. Therapy can help unpack the deeper reasons behind your rage and build tools that work for your real life.

Therapy Can Help You Feel Calmer, Seen, and Less Alone

If you’re tired of carrying the mental load, the shame, or the fear of another outburst — you don’t have to keep going like this.

As a therapist, I work with overwhelmed moms who feel angry, anxious, or simply burnt out. In our work together, we create a space where you can feel:

• Safe to talk honestly

• Understood without judgment

• Empowered with tools that help

It’s time to take care of you, too.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen — without judgment, with compassion, and with the tools to help you move forward.

Let’s rewrite the story that says moms have to be everything to everyone. You deserve space, support, and the freedom to feel without shame.

Call or Text: 720-443-3935
Email: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Serving Lafayette, Louisville, Boulder, Erie, Longmont, Broomfield, Arvada, Northern Colorado, Denver and offering online therapy throughout Colorado.