By Katy De Angelis, LCSW

I get it…. I’ve lost my cool with my kids too. Dishes in the sink, toys all over the floor, running late to an appointment, a toddler screaming because he wanted the blue bowl not the green one, and now I’ve stepped on a Lego…. You can imagine what happens next…

If you’ve ever felt like you were about to explode over spilled milk, bedtime battles, or just being touched one more time — you’re not crazy. You may be experiencing Mom Rage.

Why Does Mom Rage Happen?

Let’s start by saying this: Mom Rage doesn’t make you a bad mom — it’s a signal that something needs attention. Your rage is not a flaw. It’s a symptom of overwhelm, burnout, and unmet needs.

Common causes include:

Mental load and emotional labor in parenting
Chronic exhaustion and sleep deprivation
Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum, PMDD, or perimenopause)
Unprocessed trauma or anxiety
Lack of support or time for yourself
Unrealistic expectations of “perfect motherhood”

Many moms also feel shame or guilt about their anger — which can make the emotional cycle even harder to break.

What Is Mom Rage?

"Mom Rage" describes those moments when overwhelm spills over into intense frustration or anger. It can look like snapping at your kids, yelling when you don’t want to, or feeling like you're going to explode over something small — the spilled milk, the constant interruptions, the refusal to put on shoes.

It often catches moms off guard because it doesn’t match the version of motherhood we’re told to expect — the loving, patient, ever-sacrificing image. But the truth is, that ideal is bullshit and impossible! And rage often bubbles up when we’re stretched far beyond our limits, emotionally and physically. I like to think of rage as information we need to pay attention to.

Why Does Mom Rage Happen?

There are many reasons why rage shows up for mothers — and they’re often completely understandable:

Chronic sleep deprivation
Mental load and invisible labor
Hormonal shifts (especially postpartum and perimenopause)
Lack of support or time for yourself
Unprocessed trauma or unresolved emotional pain
Feeling like your needs don't matter

Add in social pressure to be “grateful” or “happy” all the time, and you’ve got a recipe for guilt and isolation on top of everything else.

Signs of Mom Rage

Not sure if what you’re feeling is "just stress" or something more? Here are some signs:

Snapping or yelling over small things
Feeling out of control with your anger
Crying after losing your temper
Feeling ashamed or alone afterward
Avoiding certain situations to prevent explosions

If this sounds familiar, it’s okay. You’re not alone — and you’re not the only mom wondering: “Why am I so angry all the time?”

You’re Not Failing — You’re Overloaded

We live in a culture that praises "supermoms" while offering very little real support. When moms are constantly giving, with no space to rest or be human, it’s no wonder that rage becomes the outlet.

Anger is a message. It says:
“Something is not working for me.”

And it deserves to be heard with compassion — not shame.

How to Cope With Mom Rage (Gentle, Realistic Tips)

You don’t need another to-do list. You need real tools and space to feel human again.

1. Name It Without Shame

Simply saying “I’m feeling rage” can help take the power out of it. Rage thrives in silence. Name it to tame it.

2. Notice Your Triggers

Do your angry moments happen at the same time each day? Around bedtime? After feeling touched out? These patterns point to what’s asking for attention.

3. Take a Micro-Pause

When you feel the surge, try stepping away (even for 30 seconds). Deep breaths, cold water, or simply walking into another room can reset your nervous system.

4. Let Go of the “Perfect Mom” Myth

You don’t need to be endlessly patient to be a good mom. You just need to be real, and willing to care for yourself too.

5. Get Support (It’s Not Weak to Ask)

You deserve to feel supported, not just needed. Therapy can help unpack the deeper reasons behind your rage and build tools that work for your real life.

Therapy Can Help You Feel Calmer, Seen, and Less Alone

If you’re tired of carrying the mental load, the shame, or the fear of another outburst — you don’t have to keep going like this.

As a therapist, I work with overwhelmed moms who feel angry, anxious, or simply burnt out. In our work together, we create a space where you can feel:

Safe to talk honestly
Understood without judgment
Empowered with tools that help

It’s time to take care of you, too.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen — without judgment, with compassion, and with the tools to help you move forward.

Let’s rewrite the story that says moms have to be everything to everyone. You deserve space, support, and the freedom to feel without shame.

Call or Text: 720-443-3935
Email: katy@katydeangeliscounseling.com
Schedule a Free 15-Minute Consultation
Serving Lafayette, Louisville, Boulder, Erie, Longmont, Broomfield, Arvada, Northern Colorado, Denver and offering online therapy throughout Colorado.

Mom Rage: You’re Not Broken- You’re Human…